A Lovely Day for a Riot

by The Eastside Slashers

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Murder Penis 01:59
My murder penis is loaded for bear/in compensation for my receding hair My murder penis longs to unload/white male frustration has me fit to explode (chorus) Bang, bang, bang/Now you’re a man Bang, bang, bang/Kill every last motherfucker you can Bang, bang, bang/Don’t you feel strong Bang, bang, bang/The barrel’s so long My murder penis gives voice to my rage/a hail of bullets is the way I engage My murder penis unleashes my fear/on every target I can see from up here (chorus) Lock and load (6x), fire off your motherfucking load
Fuck Trump 02:09
(chorus) Fuck Trump, fuck Pence/Organize for self-defense Fuck Trump, fuck Pence/Organize for self-defense Fuck Trump, fuck Pence/Organize for self-defense (verse) The White House is a reality show/The dipshit king says: ”Go greed, go!” Protect and serve is a thing of the past/His police state will kick your ass Slam the door on anyone brown/If they’re already here, keep them down Scream “Fake News” when you’re caught in a lie/While those Puerto Ricans die Attack the press in a hateful screed/flood your fucking Twitter feed A babbling fool, a moron born rich/The whole world knows you’re Putin’s bitch (chorus repeat) (verse) No discernable talent, should’ve been a fad/Your bankroll came from dear ol’ Dad Rally the goons, empower the horde/Racist rhetoric has struck a chord Modern-day Nazis praise your name/Because you shelter them from blame They’ve made our cities into battlefields/With tiki torches, guns and shields And after Trump leaves the world a wreck/A dead-eyed homophobe waits on deck A theocrat and the attention whore/Let’s show these fucking pricks the door (chorus repeat)
(verse) You’ll say we’ve gone too far/this fight is for you too We’re here to brawl and bleed/so you won’t have to (chorus) Let’s burn this fucker down, it’s time for something new We’re marching in the streets and soon we’ll come for you Let’s take this city back from fascist boys in blue We’ll spit through broken teeth and then we’ll break you too (verse) We rise to meet the tide/to fight the old machine The rich, the powers that be/Their crimes are obscene (chorus) (verse) Stand tall and raise your fist/We’ll fight back to back Resist, answer the call/Good guys wear black
24/7 of hate and lies fuel the rage of fragile white guys Hoodwinking humanity by peddling conspiracies Change the channel, this’ll rot your brain; these rights wing twits are all insane Fuck Fox News, Fuck Fox News, Fuck Fox News
(verse) This is my rifle/there are many like it/but this one’s mine When you’re the hammer/the world’s a nail/this pump is primed We’re Oscar Mike/we’re rolling thunder/it’s freedom time (chorus) We’ve come for your oil/We’ve come for your oil Because every fucking soccer mom needs a 2-ton SUV We’ve come for your oil/Now don’t you feel free? (verse) With swinging dicks/we police the world/we bathe in blood I was nothing special/’til they sent me here/Now I’m a stud Hey, where’s my buddy?/Oh right, he’s dead/Killed by a scud (chorus repeat; change “soccer mom” to “weekend dad”) (verse) This is my wheelchair/there are many like it/but this one’s mine Another gift/from my Uncle Sam/bullet in my spine Did you see the news?/There’s a brand new war/it’s freedom time (chorus repeat; change “soccer mom” to “’Murican”)
Corporate pigs are malicious/They make the world their private sty But corporate pigs taste delicious/Serve ‘em up like ham on rye Corporate pigs are a cancer/They pad their accounts by theft But corporate pigs taste delicious/We’ll eat them when there’s nothing left Eat them all!
(Verse) The whole thing circles the drain/The party’s ‘bout to end The system’s gone completely insane/They don’t comprehend A circus where the monkeys reign/Have you noticed a trend? (chorus) This is the end of all things/We’re all fucked! (Verse) They tell what you see isn’t real/An alternative fact Another lie in an ocean of bullshit/Engineered to distract The whole thing circles the drain/How long ‘til we react? (chorus) (verse) The whole thing circles the drain/The ringmaster’s a clown A lurching monster without any brain/It’s time to put it down
(verse) Tribes of frightened weaklings/Obsessed with ivory skin The blight of rural America/We’ve got Nazis again (chorus) Die, Nazi Scum/Nobody wants you here Die, Nazi Scum/We won’t bow down to fear (verse) Beneath your simmering violence/Lies an impotent rage Your fear of erasure drives your /Terrorist rampage (chorus) Die, Nazi Scum/You’re a public disgrace Die, Nazi Scum/Fuck your “master race” (verse) You live in fear of The Other/You’ve got a hard-on for hate You’re fucking ridiculous/We’re all the same primate (extra-special super-bonus mega-chorus) Die, Nazi Scum/Nobody wants you here Die, Nazi Scum/We won’t bow down to fear Die, Nazi Scum/You’re a public disgrace Die, Nazi Scum/Fuck your “master race” Die, Nazi Scum/You bastards won’t survive Die, Nazi Scum/It’s 1945! (outro)


The debut EP! Eight tracks rich in righteous fury, blistering criticism, and 11 essential vitamins and minerals. Good for what ails ya!

(NOTE: The bit about the vitamins and minerals is a lie.)


released December 29, 2018

Lefty Biggs: Guitar, lead vocals
Boffo Biggs: Bass, vocals
Octobriana: Drums, vocals

(...who all happen to be alter egos of C. Michael Hall, who also wrote all this crap.)


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The Eastside Slashers Portland, Oregon

Loud, bombastic, and packed with old-school, under-produced punk flavor! Portland's Eastside Slashers champion the leftist resistance in song. (Sounds pretty fucking poetic, right?)

The Eastside Slashers is the brainchild of writer, artist, and musician C. Michael Hall.For more from C. Michael Hall, check out amidtheruins.bandcamp.com/releases and cmichaelhall.blogspot.com
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